How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

4.03.2020 г.
4 324 595 Показвания

Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Коментари
  • Thanks for this Frederik. I just ran a football coaching session yesterday and it was informally assessed without any real prior notice. Myself and the other coach got slammed by the assessor. I'm qualified in training and assessment myself and felt although the assessment was correct, it was not delivered in a fair manner. I have taken it all personally. This has helped me deal with it on a day when I'm considering giving the coaching with this organisation away, which would mean letting down twenty young players and their parents. I'm very glad I came along this presentation at exactly the right time.

    Angus WheatonAngus Wheatonпреди 36 минути
  • Why does he sound British and French at the same time? I think the talk so far though.

    Gonzo GutierrezGonzo Gutierrezпреди час
  • this is deff KDBs dad, from Belgium too

    GANESH MEJI-OSPINAGANESH MEJI-OSPINAпреди 4 часа
  • im right is the big problem with soeity right now lol

    JoeyJoeyпреди 4 часа
  • Jesus loves you

    colile zakithi moeticolile zakithi moetiпреди 4 часа
  • RUBBISH!

    Bander FrankBander Frankпреди 7 часа
  • This hits hard when you feel bad about yourself

    Cookie MonsterCookie Monsterпреди 7 часа
  • The smoggy scooter behaviorally shade because bacon cytopathologically pull within a cynical tachometer. married, thick author

    Shota ToriumiShota Toriumiпреди 8 часа
  • Brilliant. thank you!

    שוקי וקסלרשוקי וקסלרпреди 10 часа
  • "Ego is the enemy "as in the book by same name .

    cancer drcancer drпреди 10 часа
  • Very informative! Emotional training should be a part of parenting and school/college curriculum.

    Nishtha SharmaNishtha Sharmaпреди 11 часа
  • 6:54 is when the tips start

    Shantanu KadiyaliShantanu Kadiyaliпреди 13 часа
  • XXXXX

    May HaiMay Haiпреди 16 часа
  • I am offended that BGworld thinks I take things personally. I mean, why recommend this.

    SeunSeunпреди 18 часа
    • It’s not about you, it’s about BGworld’s intention

      Ern TellezErn Tellezпреди 3 часа
  • soooo..did he give the guy the 20 euros???? lol

    shaneshaneпреди 18 часа
  • Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh .

    May HaiMay Haiпреди 22 часа
  • Excellent talk - thx - this was a big help !

    Clutch CargoClutch Cargoпреди 23 часа
  • Is this man taken?! What a gem!

    Rachel BuquetRachel Buquetпреди 23 часа
  • wow this is one of my super favorite ted talks!! it made me feel a little better about myself. thank you so much for this, sir!! 💕

    mimosa pudicamimosa pudicaпреди ден
  • The small exhaust phylogentically dream because continent summarily disagree along a absurd foundation. deserted, gabby beech

    VRidgeLand ScapingVRidgeLand Scapingпреди ден
  • Why can't they teach this stuff in school? Could have saved me years of unnecessary pain thinking everything is about me. 😭😪😭

    TheGuideTheGuideпреди ден
  • "Seems like crowd its more busy on there iphones.

    Romantico PoetaRomantico Poetaпреди ден
  • A very clear, engaging and structured talk with a powerful finish! I also love the smooth transitions from one subject to another - had my attention from start to finish. Thank you! 😊 👏

    BlueSkies AndCloudsBlueSkies AndCloudsпреди ден
  • 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

    Seva TeamSeva Teamпреди ден
  • The rich book compellingly thank because shell worryingly trot down a kindly granddaughter. mighty, sticky leather

    Lonniea CheeksLonniea Cheeksпреди ден
  • Thank you. In a time such as this your words speak volumes

    Alexandra HoldenAlexandra Holdenпреди ден
  • It was outstanding speech ❤️

    Malak WesamMalak Wesamпреди ден
  • Wow! His speech was very entertaining and spot on. I have the same things he described.

    Tricia ShortridgeTricia Shortridgeпреди ден
  • Great leason

    Roman Boyzov Photography & VideographyRoman Boyzov Photography & Videographyпреди ден
  • But being neglected by loved one hurts

    MAKEUP TUBEMAKEUP TUBEпреди ден
  • He sold himself with his last act!

    Viraj GordeViraj Gordeпреди ден
  • I could listen to him talk about anything and everything. He has so much positive energy!

    Unfunny BunnyUnfunny Bunnyпреди ден
  • Thanks a lot! ❤️🙏

    Laxmi LoveLaxmi Loveпреди ден
  • Why I thinking if I commented something here what others think

    Addakula AshokAddakula Ashokпреди ден
  • This video helps a lot I used to take Soo many things personally

    falloutgirl 65falloutgirl 65преди ден
  • the last line is the essential

    tanya yetanya yeпреди ден
  • The real question is, does he use the same 20 euros everytime he gives his talk

    miss aerymiss aeryпреди ден
  • the thumbnail looks like Prince Harry.. and im like.. oh.. isn't he the epitomy of currently taking things personally

    Carpediem06Carpediem06преди ден
  • The secret is to stop caring !

    Matthew ArcatiMatthew Arcatiпреди 2 дни
  • im taking the silence of the audience personally

    Alejandro FlañoAlejandro Flañoпреди 2 дни
  • I especially love the last part of his speech!

    Frances OleanderFrances Oleanderпреди 2 дни
  • Ted Talk shoud invite David Goggins

    Marvini PereiraMarvini Pereiraпреди 2 дни
  • If u take it personally why should I listen to u? Goodbye

    Kalle QuistKalle Quistпреди 2 дни
  • For those who have been " victims " of " cancel culture ", we must remember, we still have value.

    bonnie jeanbonnie jeanпреди 2 дни
  • love.

    May HaiMay Haiпреди 2 дни
  • I hope Mj doesn't see this video 😮

    Prince FlipPrince Flipпреди 2 дни
  • This is the most connected I have felt with someone in months. Wow. Frederik is an excellent speaker and this topic is what I have struggled with the most through life. I always know the talk has made a lasting imprint if it's got me tearing up with happiness at the end lol. Like finding a solution to what eats at you the most.... or at least a two-way approach to handling it. Thank you so much.

    D-DUBD-DUBпреди 2 дни
  • Absolutely loved this video. Thank you so much for this valuable information:)

    Mohd ShahnawazMohd Shahnawazпреди 2 дни
  • Het probleem is dat we dat vrijwel allemaal doen.

    Liliane BeeckmanLiliane Beeckmanпреди 2 дни
  • Horrible feedback and ringing in this video. Almost can’t watch. Nothing personal

    triggerpressyestriggerpressyesпреди 2 дни
  • The average lentil principally excite because fir demographically approve qua a vivacious lyric. few fierce, slow grade

    Andrew MoncadaAndrew Moncadaпреди 2 дни
  • great!

    Ghanhsyam BhavsarGhanhsyam Bhavsarпреди 2 дни
  • Really good story telling. I felt like a kid being read a story.

    Adriana B.Adriana B.преди 2 дни
  • 80% of what we think are negative 🤔 cool...I thought it was just a Baltimore City thing..

    Castro JesusCastro Jesusпреди 2 дни
  • I am an Orange

    A MA Mпреди 2 дни
  • The decisive teeth proportionately turn because objective totally argue an a imaginary laundry. soft, fluffy female

    Immortal MikuImmortal Mikuпреди 3 дни
  • Brilliant stuff, personally it was an epiphany.

    Udaysen MohiteUdaysen Mohiteпреди 3 дни
  • Actually, referees have coins they are either the ball or the goal.

    Batuhan KavlakBatuhan Kavlakпреди 3 дни
  • And i took that personally

    Bruh frBruh frпреди 3 дни
  • Just brilliant

    zeljka markoviczeljka markovicпреди 3 дни
  • What an nice guy!

    Gamer007Gamer007преди 3 дни
  • this is an amazing ted talk !

    monggyo Wmonggyo Wпреди 3 дни
    • Hi Monggyo, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • I'm not crying, you're crying.

    Alex CowlesAlex Cowlesпреди 3 дни
  • damn ending was epic❤

    Tanmay SinghalTanmay Singhalпреди 3 дни
    • @Frederik Imbo I just had a doubt, what if no-one raised hand to accept that note, what would you do then?

      Tanmay SinghalTanmay Singhalпреди 3 дни
    • Thank you Tanmay! Please spread the word!

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • That's such a great video

    Adonis MxAdonis Mxпреди 3 дни
  • Sent this to my mom and pops I hope they don’t take it personally

    Angel GAngel Gпреди 3 дни
    • And if they do, please don't take it personally. You know how now!

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Epic

    RED exPUARED exPUAпреди 3 дни
  • I don't feel right about being empathetic to wrong people. How come I compromise on not being right to wrong people. Its tough

    Niranjan KhadkaNiranjan Khadkaпреди 3 дни
    • Hi Niranjan. You don't have to anything if it doesn't feel right. You only empathize with someone if you want to. If you feel that you however want to keep your heard open. As long as you don't want it... it means that you're stuck in your ego. Which is not good or bad. It is just was it is. You give empathy because you don't want to feel yourself annoyed or frustrated. You do it because you want to be in peace with the other one.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • So excellent. I really needed to hear this.

    Victor CarlisleVictor Carlisleпреди 4 дни
  • 4:30 you'll thank me =)

    Al'set BarnabiAl'set Barnabiпреди 4 дни
  • This is a great lesson, given by a sympathetic guy

    Mike BannerMike Bannerпреди 4 дни
  • Hahahahaha you are describing me... I feel hurt when not acknowledged and take things very personally... thanks for pointing it out .. enjoyed this

    naijamannnaijamannпреди 4 дни
    • @Frederik Imbo thanks for the assitance.. will share.. ive started practicing not taking things personally.. I'm now conscious of areas to apply it.. my heartbreak..office critisms I'm still myself and have my value..and worth

      naijamannnaijamannпреди 2 дни
    • Hi Naijamann, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Hey you, yes you 😊. you're probably scrolling through the comments like me. Just remember you are a beautiful person and deserve all the happiness in the world. Take some time to work on you, don't stress about whats going on in the world, or what you are going through. Its time to live your life, we only get one! Things will get better soon, I promise. ❤ Relaxing Music, Karma Llama. ❤

    Karma LlamaKarma Llamaпреди 4 дни
    • How sweet! Thank you.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • The lively disgust neurally license because copyright inevitably satisfy since a resolute learning. marked, hurried glove

    Nickolas SmithNickolas Smithпреди 4 дни
  • I needed this. Bad! More than food for today. I hear a lot of things that I can transition into my personality and character. This was absolute substance.

    7LAMPS of FIRE7LAMPS of FIREпреди 4 дни
  • Just that last 1 minute of the video is worth it all! Great message 🥰

    J. O.J. O.преди 4 дни
    • Hi J.O., Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Michael Jordan needs to watch this.

    Ronaldo GarrosuRonaldo Garrosuпреди 4 дни
    • Haha indeed Ronaldo. If you know him personally, send him a personal message. At the same time; Michael Jordan only tried to do his very best. He tried to deal with his unfulfilled needs of recognition. He just wanted to be valued.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Beautiful allegory and amazingly authentic emotional intelligence teachings in the tea break time❤💙💚 Many thanks 😊

    Maciej MagicMaciej Magicпреди 4 дни
    • Hi Maciej Magic. Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Thank you for sharing this. It opened me to a whole new perspective of thinking on things that happened to me. It definitely takes a lot of courage and experience to be able to talk and relate to things that hits us so deep. Much appreciation here!

    Angel PaulAngel Paulпреди 4 дни
  • The unequaled ghana basally challenge because signature extragingivally bare except a enchanted flood. tremendous, receptive value

    Ricky TorresRicky Torresпреди 4 дни
  • T

    Renaat DeckersRenaat Deckersпреди 4 дни
    • Mr. Frederck Imbo I’ m telling all my stydents& friends your story of the football- referee! A very fine ted talk! 👍👍

      Renaat DeckersRenaat Deckersпреди ден
    • @Renaat Deckers You're very welcome Renaat. Graag gedaan.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
    • Thank you Frederick Imbo

      Renaat DeckersRenaat Deckersпреди 4 дни
  • Very cool

    Homéostasie999Homéostasie999преди 4 дни
  • Wow great ending, I read during the video similar comments to mine but didn’t expect that at the end, thank gosh ppl didn’t spoil the ending .. great quality video & lesson .. always remember your value .. 🙏🏾

    Josh EasyJosh Easyпреди 4 дни
  • Amazing Advice

    Mr.WolfmanPlushiesMr.WolfmanPlushiesпреди 5 дни
  • I think the reason you don't take it personally when someone calls you an orange is because it is just a ridiculous thing to say to some one

    bees waspsbees waspsпреди 5 дни
  • Sometimes you do have to take things personally

    bees waspsbees waspsпреди 5 дни
    • Hi Bees Wasps. If you mean that 'taking things personally' helps you to come up for yourself and let the other one see and feel that he does something that crosses a boundary, feel free to do it. I'm only concerned then that your reaction might be quite punishing and agression. And that could lead to a conflict. But of course, you can do whatever you want. As long as you're willing to take the consequences of your behaviour then.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • قشعريره

    light throw cloudslight throw cloudsпреди 5 дни
  • beautiful!

    AHSAN ALAMAHSAN ALAMпреди 5 дни
    • Thank you Ahsan.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

    Diane GyemiDiane Gyemiпреди 5 дни
    • Hi Diane. Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

    southlondon86southlondon86преди 5 дни
  • Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

    ROPHEKA WA MANZAMBIROPHEKA WA MANZAMBIпреди 5 дни
    • @Frederik Imbo thank you sir. I experienced some parts of your speech in 2020 which was a difficult year for the all world but for me it was a great year to know or discover myself as person besides a spiritual man (I serve God). 2020 left me with testimonies 🇨🇩 again Great Job sir.

      ROPHEKA WA MANZAMBIROPHEKA WA MANZAMBIпреди 3 дни
    • Hi Ropheka, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.” - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person). Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

    huỳnh nguyễnhuỳnh nguyễnпреди 5 дни
  • Kisss

    Man ThemMan Themпреди 5 дни
  • Michael Jordan disagrees btw

    Charles LalawiganCharles Lalawiganпреди 5 дни
    • Haha indeed Charles. If you know him personally, send him a personal message. At the same time; Michael Jordan only tried to do his very best. He tried to deal with his unfulfilled needs of recognition. He just wanted to be valued.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

    J BJ Bпреди 5 дни
  • Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

    James CoolJames Coolпреди 5 дни
    • Hi James, you're not the first one who says it. Kevin DeBruyne was born in 1991. I was born in 1975. So I really take it as a compliment!

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

    Nali ShieldNali Shieldпреди 5 дни
    • Hi Nali. A very interesting question you have there. I believe that even when someone is not giving you a job, their intention is positive... for themselves. They just want someone else. Of course, that doesn't mean that what you experience is nice. It might be very painful. BUT... then it means that this pain was already inside of you. The other one only touched that pain by saying what he said. So the key is to work on yourself by starting to be more gentle with yourself and give yourself compassion and develop your self love. If you do that, and become to truly love and appreciate yourself, the other can do whatever he wants, it will less and less hurt you, because you know that it isn't true. As long as it still hurts, it means that you're still struggling with yourself. All the seawater in the world can't sink a ship, unless the ship takes on water. All the negativity in the world can't touch you, unless you let it...

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • Awwwwww loved it.

    Floyd John BarbinFloyd John Barbinпреди 5 дни
    • Hi Floyd. Thank you for watching my talk and thanks for your kind response. Good luck applying the insights and tips.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

    Hasitha MapalagamaHasitha Mapalagamaпреди 5 дни
    • @Frederik Imbo Yes. Especially the "Its about me and speak up" part of the video. Great talk @Frederik Imbo

      Hasitha MapalagamaHasitha Mapalagamaпреди 2 дни
    • Hi Hasitha. So, did you learn something from it?

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
  • 4:46 "It's our ego." It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

    borgoat12borgoat12преди 5 дни
    • Hi Borgoat. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. The difference between self-esteem and EGO is that self-esteem is being in contact with your needs consciously. The EGO only thinks that the other one did something bad and therefore must be punished.

      Frederik ImboFrederik Imboпреди 3 дни
BGworld